He was a young man with one bad experience after another. She had been supporting him for years, but despite her best efforts, he continued to struggle. One day, after spending four exhausting days together, she found herself at a loss for how to help him. He was frustrated, and she was drained. Over supper, he turned to her and said, “get a life.” She was taken aback, but as the words sunk in, she realized that he was right. She had been so focused on trying to help him that she had forgotten to prioritize her own needs and desires.
She was a woman who had dedicated her life to helping others. Her name was Sarah, and she had worked in social services for over a decade. She had a kind heart, a listening ear, and a wealth of knowledge and experience. She had worked will all kinds of people over the years, but there was something about Alex that had drawn her in. She saw the potential in him, and was determined to help him succeed. She would spend hours working with him, listening to his concerns, and offering advice and support. She was patient, compassionate, and committed to making a difference in his life.
He was a young man who had faced one setback after another. His name was Alex, and he had grown up in a difficult environment, with limited resources and little support. Despite these challenges, he had always been determined to succeed. He worked hard, stayed focused, and tried to make the best of every situation. But despite his efforts, he seemed to encounter one obstacle after another. He would get a job, only to lose it week or two later. He would make progress in his personal life, only to have setbacks and disappointments. As a result, he became increasingly frustrated and disheartened, and began to feel like he was stuck in a never-ending cycle of failure.
Despite her dedication to helping Alex, Sarah began to feel increasingly drained and exhausted. She realized that she had been so focused on trying to help him that she had neglected her own needs and desires. She had always been a giver, someone who put others’ needs ahead of their own. But now she realized that this approach had left her feeling depleted and unfulfilled.
Despite her best efforts, however, Alex continued to struggle. He would make progress, only to have setbacks and disappointments. He would lash out in frustration, and even take out his anger on Sarah. But she remained steadfast in her support, never giving up on him, even when it seemed like everyone else had. She knew that he had the potential to succeed, if only he could see it for himself. And so she continued to work with him, day after day, week after week, month after month and months became years.
Since that day when Alex told her to “get a life” she began to reflect on her own values and goals, and started to take steps to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. She embraced adventure and took risks, trying new hobbies and activities that brought her joy. She also began to use more supportive and constructive language with the young man, encouraging him to explore his own interests and passions, rather than imposing her own ideas onto him. She changed slowly at first but she quickly noticed that energy in her life began to return.
As she began to reflect on her own values and goals, Sarah realized that she had been over-focused on Alex’s behavior. She had been trying so hard to help him make progress that she had lost sight of her own priorities. She asked herself, “What do I want out of life? What brings me joy and fulfillment?” These were questions that she had neglected to ask herself for too long.
Sarah began to make small changes in her life, taking time to pursue her own interests and hobbies. She started going to yoga classes, spending time with friends, and reading books that interested her. She realized that by taking care of her own needs, she could be a better support to Alex as well. She began to set clearer boundaries with him, recognizing that she had been over-supporting and interfering rather than supporting. She encouraged him to take more responsibility for his own progress, and to set his own goals and priorities.
Sarah’s newfound focus on her own values and goals not only helped her to live a more fulfilling life, but it also had a positive impact on Alex. He began to take more responsibility for his own progress, and to make more progress on his own. He still valued Sarah’s support and advice, but he also recognized that he needed to take ownership of his own journey. Her team ,who worked with Alex, came to recognize the value and importance of modelling positive interactions and unconditional positive regard. This had unintentionally started a ripple effect that effected Alex and his support team.
By prioritizing her own needs and desires, she developed a stronger sense of self and identity, and was able to approach her work with renewed energy and enthusiasm. She also promoted supportive and constructive behaviors in her workplace, community, volunteering her time and resources to help those in need.
Sometimes it takes a wake-up call from an unexpected source to realize that we need to “get a life.”
But in the case of Sarah, who was supporting the young man, she realized that she had already “got a life” – she just needed to prioritize it. By embracing the five key points to living a fulfilling life:
- prioritize your own values and goals,
- embrace adventure and take risks,
- develop a strong sense of self,
- use supportive and constructive language,
- and promote supportive and constructive behaviors in your own life and community.
She found that by following these points, she was able to create a more positive and uplifting environment for herself and those around her. She had energy and interest in her’s and others wellbeing.
It’s important to recognize that getting a life is not always about starting from scratch or making drastic changes. Sometimes, it’s simply a matter of recognizing what you already have, and prioritizing it in your life. By taking the time to reflect on your own values, interests, and goals, and by promoting positive and uplifting behaviors in your own life and community, you can live a fulfilling and meaningful life on your own terms. So go ahead and get a life – or, if you’re like the woman in our story, recognize that you already have one, and prioritize it accordingly.
Sarah’s newfound focus on her own values and goals might have seemed selfish to some, but in reality, it was a necessary step in her journey of self-discovery and personal growth. By prioritizing her own needs and desires, Sarah was not abandoning Alex or neglecting her duties as a support professional. On the contrary, she was becoming a more effective and empathetic caregiver, as she was no longer projecting her own expectations and priorities onto Alex.
Sarah continued to provide support and guidance to Alex, but now with a more balanced and respectful approach. She recognized that he was his own person, with his own strengths, challenges, and goals. She listened more attentively to his concerns and desires, and encouraged him to explore his own interests and passions, rather than imposing her own ideas onto him. She remained patient, compassionate, and committed to making a positive difference in his life, but now with a more sustainable and fulfilling approach. Alex had a life too.
Sarah’s transformation did not make her a selfish person, but rather a more effective and compassionate support professional. By prioritizing her own values and goals, she was able to avoid burnout and over-involvement, and provide Alex with the support and guidance that he needed to succeed. By recognizing the importance of balance and self-care, Sarah was able to create a more positive and uplifting environment for herself and those around her
Sarah’s realization that she had been over-focused on Alex’s behavior and neglecting her own needs and desires is a common challenge faced by many caregivers and support professionals. By taking the time to reflect on her own values and goals, and by setting clearer boundaries and encouraging Alex to take more responsibility for his own progress, she was able to live a more fulfilling life and be a better support to Alex as well.
By prioritizing our own needs and desires, embracing adventure and taking risks, developing a strong sense of self, using supportive and constructive language, and promoting supportive and constructive behaviors in our own lives and communities, we can create a more fulfilling and meaningful life for ourselves and those around us.
Sarah continued to provide support and guidance to Alex, but now with a more balanced and respectful approach. She recognized that he was his own person, with his own strengths, challenges, and goals. She listened more attentively to his concerns and desires, and encouraged him to explore his own interests and passions, rather than imposing her own ideas onto him. She remained patient, compassionate, and committed to making a positive difference in his life, but now with a more sustainable and fulfilling approach.
Years went by, and Sarah continued to provide support and guidance to many people. Other people were supporting Alex, she was helping others. She had become a grandmother, and her years of experience had only deepened her commitment to helping others. She was often sought out by colleagues and young professionals, who admired her wisdom, patience, and empathy. She was always willing to share her knowledge and insights, and to offer support and encouragement to those who were struggling.
Sarah’s message had not changed over the years: “The people whose wellness we support are best supported by people who are well. That’s why I got a life.” Her journey of self-discovery and personal growth had not only transformed her own life, but had also inspired and motivated those around her. She had become a role model for other caregivers and support professionals, who looked up to her as a beacon of hope and possibility. Sarah had learned that getting a life was not about abandoning her responsibilities or neglecting those in need. It was about finding a balance between her own needs and desires, and those of the people she served. By prioritizing her own wellbeing, she had become a more effective and compassionate support professional, one who could truly make a positive difference in the lives of others.
Her journey of self-discovery and personal growth had not only transformed her own life, but had also had a lasting impact on those around her. Her message of prioritizing one’s own wellbeing had become a guiding principle for many caregivers and support professionals, who looked up to her as a role model and mentor. Sarah’s legacy was not only one of kindness and compassion, but also one of courage and resilience, an example of how getting a life can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful existence for oneself and others.
It was some time later that Sarah ran into Alex again. He had come a long way since their early days of working together, and Sarah was pleased to see how much he had grown and matured. He greeted her warmly, with a smile and a handshake, and they chatted like old friends. As they caught up on each other’s lives, Alex began to confide in Sarah about some of the challenges he was facing. He talked about the people in his life who were trying to control him or push him in certain directions. He talked about how frustrated he was with their interference, and how he just wanted to be left alone to live his life on his own terms. Sarah listened attentively, nodding in understanding. When Alex had finished, she smiled and told him, “Get a life.” They both chuckled at the irony of the situation.
Alex thought about what Sarah had said for a moment, and then he replied, “Yup.” They both knew what she meant: that he needed to focus on his own priorities and goals, and not let others dictate his path.
With Sarah’s support and guidance, Alex had learned to take ownership of his own life, to set his own goals and priorities, and to pursue his own interests and passions. He had become more confident, more independent, and more resilient. And while he still faced challenges from time to time, he knew that he had the strength and the resources to overcome them.
Sarah’s message of “Get a life” had taken on a new meaning in her relationship with Alex. It was no longer a pejorative or sarcastic comment, but rather a reminder to focus on one’s own priorities and goals, and to live a fulfilling and meaningful life on one’s own terms. Alex had learned this lesson well, and was now living proof of how getting a life can lead to personal growth, empowerment, and happiness, even when facing one of many life’ challenges or adversities.
This was Sarah’s story and I listened intently as she shared it with me one day after a training session. I was a young direct support professional, eager to learn from her wisdom and experience. As Sarah spoke about her journey of self-discovery and personal growth, I couldn’t help but feel inspired by her courage and resilience.
I have known her for years now. “I got a life,” I would often tell Sarah, echoing her own words back to her. She would smile and ask me how I was doing, and I would tell her about my own struggles and triumphs. Sarah had become my mentor, my role model, and my friend. She had shown me that it was possible to be a compassionate and effective support professional, without sacrificing one’s own wellbeing.
As I continue to work with people with disabilities, I make a conscious effort to prioritize my own needs and desires, just as Sarah had done. I would take time to pursue my own interests and hobbies, to spend time with loved ones, and to reflect on my own values and goals. And whenever I faced challenges or setbacks, I would remember Sarah’s message: “The people whose wellness we support are best supported by people who are well. That’s why I got a life.”
Sarah’s story had a profound impact on me, as I learned to prioritize my own wellbeing and live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. As a direct support professional, I was committed to helping others, but I also recognized the importance of balance and self-care. Sarah had shown me that it was possible to be a caring and compassionate caregiver, without sacrificing one’s own happiness and fulfillment. And so I continued to live by her example, telling her proudly, “I got a life.”
“I got a life”, and am grateful.